Unchartered Waters
by fanficteacher
Summary: Jace and Clary explore their relationship on a deeper level. Hopefully the waves of life don't knock them off course. Takes place before their physical relationship really starts.
1. Chapter 1

**I hope you enjoy this little piece. It's meant to be all angsty/romancy so some of the finer details might not match up with the actual series. It is meant to take place before the last book of the series and before Jace and Clary really get physical at all.**

**Thanks for reading – let me know what you think.**

"Clary, I can't believe you guys haven't done it yet," exclaimed Isabelle as she applied black polish to her nails.

"Izzy, give me a break. It just hasn't happened yet. Besides, we are a bit busy." Clary was really tired of trying to explain herself.

"I just don't understand it. I mean, if two people want to be together, they get together. I think you're just scared."

"Izzy, it's a big deal, that's all. Besides, it's not like I have any experience in this area."

"Seriously Clary, I know Jace must want it. Just get over yourself and go for it. Be bold and I'm sure Jace will respond appreciatively."

"Izzy, it's just not that easy."

"Clary, guys are easy to please. You just have to show up, put a little effort into it, and everyone will be happy. Trust me."

"And what should she be trusting you with, exactly" Jace said as he entered the room where the girls were painting their nails?

"Nothing!" Clary shouted as he came and sat down beside her. Jace smiled at her and kissed her temple.

Thankfully, Jace and Isabelle started talking about upcoming Institute duties. Clary let her mind wander to what she and Izzy had been talking about. It wasn't that she didn't want more with Jace, she definitely did, but if she was honest with herself, she was scared. She had never been with anyone before and she knew Jace was experienced. They hadn't really talked about his past history, but she knew from comments that Izzy had made that he had been with girls before. He had never pushed her to do anything more, but she worried that what they were doing might not be enough for him. Maybe she would take Izzy's advice and just put a little effort into pushing things forward.

"Clary? Did you hear me?" Jace sounded concerned as Clary looked at him in confusion. "I asked you a question."

"Oh, sorry. I guess I was lost in thought," she tried to sound casual so he wouldn't worry.

"Want to share it with me?' he asked as he scooted over to sit closer to her.

"No, it was nothing."

"Okay." For a moment, they just sat in companionable silence. Jace picked up her newly painted hand and started playing with her fingers. "This color looks nice on you. Isabelle's influence seems to be wearing off on you," he chuckled as he brought her hand up to his lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Clary asked with some hesitation.

He didn't look away from her hand as he continued to give her feather light kisses. He shrugged. "It's neither. I was just making an observation. I could make more if you would like." He smiled his crooked smile and looked up at her from beneath his lashes. "You look stunning today."

Clary could feel her cheeks blush from his compliment. He trailed a hand up to her cheek as he leaned in and kissed her lips. It was a soft kiss.

Clary pulled away before he could deepen the kiss further. She thought she saw a slight frown cross his features but it disappeared as quickly as it came. "We should go meet up with the others. Aren't we patrolling tonight?"

As they stood up together, Jace pulled Clary against him so she couldn't walk away. "Yeah, we are leaving soon. Is everything okay? You seem a bit off." He looked searchingly into her eyes for the root of his concern.

She leaned in and kissed him quickly. "I'm fine. Perhaps it's pre-patrol jitters. Let's go." As she stepped out of his embrace, she grabbed his hand as they walked together to find the others.

The patrols were easy. They didn't run into any major problems. Actually, they only came across two demons the entire time they were out. They had an easy time disposing of those. They walked along joking with each other and discussed their upcoming training and lessons. Thankfully, Izzy hadn't tried to continue their conversation from earlier. That would have made the night one huge embarrassment.

When they got back to the Institute, they made their reports and made plans to meet back for breakfast. They were going to meet Simon and Magnus at Taki's so they could all hang out before the day got busy.

Clary didn't have a room in the Institute since she lived with her mother and usually just got ready in a spare room or with Izzy. As they made their way up the elevator, Jace leaned down to whisper something in her ear. His lips brushed against her hair sending butterflies into her stomach. "You could get ready with me, in my room, if you want." It sounded like Jace was a bit unsure of himself. She smiled and simply nodded her head. She didn't trust her voice right now.

As they headed down the hall together, she saw Isabelle give her a wink before she turned and went into her own room. Clary felt her cheeks redden. Perhaps she would try some of Izzy's advice. Clary lost herself in thinking about what she was going to do. She didn't hear Jace say goodbye to Alec and open the door to his own room. As she walked in, following Jace, she was surprised to find herself in his embrace against the back of the door. Since she hadn't been paying attention, she wasn't expecting this. They kissed for a long time standing there, bodies pressed against each other. It was heavenly. They slowly started to move together towards the bed. Jace's room was so clean and organized, they didn't have to worry about stumbling upon anything as they walked. Clary did step on Jace's foot though. They stopped and Clary started to pull away to apologize. Jace just gave her a sexy smile and bent down to pick her up. Clary squealed as she found herself in his arms.

"This is much better. Now you can't stomp all over my feet."

Clary punched him in the chest as she said, "I do not stomp all over your feet. It was an accident." Jace just smiled as he kissed her lips once again.

Clary might have been distracted by her thoughts when they first entered the room, but she was acutely aware of what was happening at the moment. As Jace laid her on the bed, Clary sat up abruptly, to his surprise. She leaned over and continued kissing him. As she did so, she grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head. This seemed to spurn Jace on. He grabbed her face with his hands and kissed her passionately. His own fingers found the hem of her shirt. He hesitated there, playing with the sensitive skin just below the fabric. As he started to move her shirt up, Clary put her arms straight up so he could remove it easier. They had done this before. In fact, this is as far as they had ever gotten. The small amount of skin contact was delicious. She knew Jace enjoyed it. She could tell in the way he looked at her and she could feel it through his passionate kissing. She did want more; didn't she? She just didn't know what to do. She wanted to make Jace happy but was so inexperienced. She just knew she couldn't match his expectations. She was worried about seeing the disappointment in his eyes.

But then she thought about what Isabelle had said. Maybe if she just tried anything more, he would go for it. She knew he was holding back because he didn't want to pressure her into anything. Before she could lose her nerve, she started caressing his chest and back with her hands. He made a small moaning noise into her mouth. This spurned her on. She let her hands travel all over his abdomen. Jace was sitting on the bed next to her, leaning back on his hands. She was doing all the touching. As her hands reached the button of his pants. She felt Jace freeze beneath her. She opened up her eyes to find him staring at her. She didn't know what to say. She unbuttoned his top button. "Clary, you don't have to do this," he said in jagged breaths.

In a small voice she asked, "Is it okay if I do want this?" Jace just looked at her and nodded his head. He couldn't form a coherent word. She started kissing him again and fumbled for the zipper of his pants. Slowly she pulled the zipper until it was completely down. Their breathing was uneven around their kisses. She stopped and looked down past his waist. She had no idea what she should do. She was expecting Jace to take over once she moved past where they had gone before but he seemed to be letting her take charge of the situation. He was letting her do whatever she wanted to do yet she didn't know how to do what she wanted to do. She hadn't realized that she was just sitting there staring until she heard his voice.

"Clary, are you okay? We can stop," his voice was full of concern as he looked down at her. What was she doing? This was Jace, she shouldn't be so apprehensive or afraid.

Instead of answering, she moved in and continued to kiss him. In a moment of boldness, she moved her hand over to his waist. She threw caution to the wind and slowly moved her hand inside his pants. He gasped as her hand made contact with his skin. She froze. What was she doing? She wasn't sure what she had been expecting but it wasn't this. He was clearly aroused by their activities and the sheer magnitude of the situation came crashing down around her at that moment. She looked up at Jace with wide eyes and saw the shock and concern on his face.

"Clary, what's wrong?"

Before he could even finish his question, she had removed her hand and covered her face. "Jace, I'm sorry, I just can't." She was so embarrassed. She couldn't look at him.

He sat up and put his arms around her, pulling her close. "Clary, don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong." He was trying to comfort her and convince her that everything was okay. He realized that his pants were still undone and thought that maybe the situation would be easier if he put himself back together again. "Just give me a minute. I'll be right back." He grabbed his shirt as he got up and went to the bathroom. Clary was mortified. She also grabbed her shirt. Instead of waiting for him to come out, she left his room. She ran to Izzy's room to hide. She just couldn't face Jace right now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next chapter. Not much happens but it is definitely needed to move things along. I hope you are enjoying it so far. So much uncomfortableness!**

**Thanks for reading - Review so I know what you think.**

"Clary, what are you doing in here? I thought you would be with Jace?"

"I can't. I just…Izzy, I just totally blew it. I am beyond horrified. I can't even look at him right now."

Instead of sounding concerned, Isabelle sounded way too interested. "Oh tell me everything!" She plopped down on her bed looking toward Clary expectantly.

Clary just looked at her and shook her head. "No, absolutely not. I am so embarrassed I am never speaking of this night again. Not to anyone."

"Oh come on. I can help you."

"I think your so called help is what got me into this situation. I tried to take your advice, and needless to say, it didn't go well." Clary sat down in the chair across from where Isabelle was sitting.

"Clary, I'm sure it's not that bad."

"Izzy, I just left the room. I couldn't even look at him."

"Wait, you left him in there and you just, what, walked out?" The surprise in her voice was evident.

Clary sighed as she explained. "Jace got up to go into the bathroom and I just left. I couldn't face him. I have seriously screwed this up."

"You need to go back in there and talk to him about this. Clary, think about what he must be thinking right now."

Clary couldn't get beyond her own humiliation to even think about what was going through Jace's mind at the moment. "Izzy, I don't want to talk about this with you or Jace. I just want to stay right here until we leave to meet everyone for breakfast. Okay?"

Isabelle just looked at Clary. She was silent for a moment and then shrugged her shoulders. "Suit yourself. If you want to clean up before we leave you can use my bathroom. I'm done. I just have to get fabulous now." She smiled as she got up off the bed and moved to her vanity.

Clary exhaled a sigh of relief. She got up, went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked so small and actually weak in that moment. Of course she looked weak. She had run away from a problem and she wasn't sure how she was going to face it when she was forced to leave this room. She decided to take a shower and hopefully wash all her embarrassment away.

When Jace came out of the bathroom moments later, he was surprised to see that Clary wasn't in his room. He was a bit hurt as well. He knew she was upset but he was hoping he could help in some way. He actually wasn't sure what had happened. Clary's boldness had surprised him but he wasn't about to stop her. He definitely wanted to take their relationship to the next level, he just didn't think she was ready. Well, that was before tonight. Actually,after tonight, he still had the same thought. He wasn't sure what had made her do what she did if she didn't really want to in the first place. He hoped that she didn't think he was pressuring her in any way. He also hadn't tried to move forward because he didn't want to scare her. He knew that she hadn't been with anyone before and he didn't want it to seem like he expected anything more out of her. He sat on his bed wondering how they were going to fix this situation. It didn't help that she had left, but he knew that she was embarrassed. There was nothing to be embarrassed about. Stuff like this was bound to happen. It's not like anything sexual was ever embarrassment free, especially when things were new.

Even though he really wanted to talk to Clary and reassure her, he decided to wait until they were all meeting up to head out again. He didn't have to wait long. He just hoped she hadn't left the Institute.

Clary and Isabelle finished getting ready. Isabelle didn't push Clary anymore about what happened. She decided to just wait and watch. When they got to the meeting place, in the hall, they were the first ones there. Clary couldn't stand still. She was continually pulling on her fingers, moving her feet around and playing with her hair. She heard Isabelle chuckle next to her.

"You look so guilty."

"Oh shut up Izzy."

Before she could turn back around, Clary could hear Alec and Jace coming down the hall. She quickly looked at the ground as they approached. She could feel the heat in her cheeks. Alec greeted them and they all stood around talking nonchalantly. Clary could feel Jace's gaze on her. She didn't lift her head to look at him. She was still so embarrassed.

"Let's go. No offense, but I would rather go spend some time with our other friends for a while," Isabelle said as she started down the hall.

Just as Clary was about to turn with her and head out, Jace started talking and Clary froze at the mention of her name. "Clary and I will catch up with you guys."

"Haven't you guys had enough yet? Food rebuilds strength. Let's go," Alec joked impatiently. He obviously had no idea anything was off between them.

As he reached out for Clary's arm, Jace said, "really, we'll be quick. We'll meet you there."

Clary had no choice but to stop and remain with him in the hallway. She thought she heard Alec say "whatever" as Jace turned her around to face him. She still couldn't look at him. He waited until the others were in the elevator before he spoke to her.

"Clary, will you look at me?"

No, she thought. I don't want to look at you. She hesitated a moment too long. She felt his fingers under her chin lifting her gaze to meet his. When she finally looked at him, she was surprised to see hurt mixed in with the emotions on his face.

"Clary, talk to me. What's wrong? Why did you leave?" He sounded worried and a bit apprehensive.

Where could she possibly begin? She was still so embarrassed and even more so now that she was facing him again. How could she begin to describe how she felt? "I'm fine. I'm just really embarrassed and I really don't want to talk about it." She tried to look away but Jace held her chin firmly in place.

"I don't believe you. You aren't fine. I was there, remember? I'm a part of this too." She could sense a hint of anger behind his words.

"Jace, really, I'm fine. It will be fine. I just really want to go meet up with everyone right now." He dropped his fingers from her chin.

"Can you at least tell me what happened? You just left and I'm a bit lost here."

"We can talk later. Let's just go." She started moving down the hall away from him.

He caught up to her and he pulled her to him in an embrace. She felt a bit stiff but he didn't let this stop him. "Clary, you know you can talk to me about anything, right? It's just you and me here. I want to know what's going on." It felt so good to be in his arms, Clary relaxed just a bit. She loved this feeling but she was quickly reminded of how she had felt earlier and it sobered her right up.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Jace could feel himself get angry. "Don't you think I have a right to know? I was there, too. This isn't only about you. I want to know what's going on with you."

She hesitated in his arms. She knew she was being unfair to him, but she also didn't want to talk about it. What she really wanted was to forget about everything but she knew that was going to be impossible. "We can talk later. I'm just still upset and want to go out with our friends and not think about it."

"What are you so upset about? What did I do?" Jace pleaded.

Before he could finish his previous statement, Clary jumped in, cutting him off. "Jace, let's just go now."

Jace was at a loss. It was clear something bad had happened. She wasn't talking to him about it and it didn't sound like she had any plans to talk to him about it, either. As they walked together to the elevator, he couldn't help but wonder what all of this meant.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, here is the next little bit of this story. I'm not sure how long I will continue this one. Probably a few more chapters, at the least. Thanks for the reviews. Keep them coming with any thoughts. Enjoy reading!**

Dinner was a bit awkward. Clary and Jace had finally made it to where the others were; they had already gotten a table but hadn't ordered yet. They all ordered food and started talking about random things. Magnus looked disinterested in everything and Simon wouldn't stop talking. He was replaying his band practice to everyone and their new name choice. They had decided to go with Hamburger Skillet. Everyone agreed that this was a bad choice. He didn't seemed fazed by their opinions. Jace was pretty quiet though he would throw in sarcastic comments every once in a while. Clary just smiled but didn't really engage in the conversation much. She tried not to look in Jace's direction too much. They were sitting across from each other so it wasn't too hard to avoid direct eye contact. She kept her attention toward the rest of the group. Their food came and they all ate. Everyone must have known that she wasn't talking much because it seemed like everyone stopped to look in her direction. She was eating her food pretty quickly. Their patrol and the embarrassing events of the evening had really made her hungry.

"Clary, slow down. No one is going to take your food away from you," Simon smirked from across the table. When she looked up with her mouth full, all eyes were on her.

"I'm sure Jace is giving her quite the workout," Alec quipped. Jace shot him a look that said Shut Up.

Clary could feel her cheeks go crimson. "I'm starving too. I haven't eaten anything since before we went out last night and I'm famished." Thankfully Izzy came to Clary's defense. They all chuckled at that and continued eating and talking.

Clary could feel Jace's intense stare in her direction. She swallowed and braved a look up toward him. He was staring at her. When their eyes met, he smiled and winked at her. She gave him a small smile back. Perhaps things could just go back to normal and they could just forget about it. Good plan, thought Clary.

Once they were done eating, everyone made plans for later. Clary was going to go home since her mother didn't approve of her being away from home for too many hours at a time. Jocelyn liked to give her lessons herself so the only thing Clary had to go to the Institute for was training and business stuff. Well, she also went over there to see Jace and everyone else.

"I can walk you home," Jace told her as he grabbed her hand.

"Actually, I'm going to walk with Simon. I haven't really spent any time with him in a few days." Clary knew it was an excuse but she was hoping Jace would let it go.

Jace frowned and played with her fingers in his hands. "Okay, if that's what you want. I guess I'll just see you later then, at the Institute." He leaned down and quickly kissed her lips.

"Okay, sounds good." She tried to give him a normal smile so he would think she was back to being fine. Who was she kidding? He knew her so well he could read her like a book. Oh well, this would just have to do.

As Clary and Simon left the group together, they remained silent for a minute or two. "What's up with you and Jace?" Simon finally asked.

"What do you mean? Everything is fine." Clary was not going to tell him about what happened, even if he was her best friend.

"Sure it is. Look, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I think everyone at that table could tell that something was off. You barely looked at each other and you weren't as sappy as you normally are." Simon started laughing at that.

Clary lightly punched him in the arm and said, "Shut up! We are not sappy all the time."

"Trust me, you are. It's disgusting sometimes." Simon grabbed her hand and they continued to walk.

Jocelyn put Clary through quite the lesson today. It was more Latin as Clary found it the hardest subject by far. Thankfully she wouldn't have to start learning any other languages until she mastered this one. Simon was there trying to help her but he picked it up so easily it just angered her. He wasn't helping at all. She missed Jace. She was used to reviewing her Latin and other lessons with him after she finished with Jocelyn. He had a way of helping her remember certain things and showed her why the studies were actually important in the real world. She knew if she suggested getting together after, it would lead to talking about what happened and she wanted to avoid that at all cost.

Luke came in with pizzas and a movie a few hours later. "Simon, stay and watch a movie with us. It will be like old times," Luke offered as he saw Simon was there.

"That would be great. Thanks. Hey, should we invite Jace and Izzy too?" He looked at Clary expecting to see her face light up and was surprised when it didn't.

"No, let's just have a family night in," she said in reply.

Simon thought this was a bit strange but didn't say anything. Luke and Jocelyn were thrilled with the idea. Clary heard her phone ring and got up to answer it. It was Jace.

She answered after taking a long sigh. She did want him to come over tonight but she was just too panicky over what he would be expecting. She wanted things to go back to normal and knew he wanted to talk about everything. "Hey there beautiful," she smiled as she heard his greeting.

"Hey."

"I'm guessing your lessons are over so do you want to come over and we can review everything before training?" He sounded so hopeful.

"Actually, Luke brought pizzas and a movie home so we are going to have a family night."

"Oh, okay. Do you think you'll come over later?"

"I don't think so. The movie will end pretty late and I'm pretty tired."

Jace was silent for a moment. "I could come over there, if you wanted."

"That would be nice but we are just having a family thing. Sorry. I'll see you tomorrow though."

"So, it's just the three of you?" He sounded doubtful.

"And Simon. He's been here all day."

He didn't respond to that. Finally, he said, "okay, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Okay, sounds good. Bye."

"Clary, I love you."

"I love you too." She hung up the phone and felt horrible. Maybe she could have had him come over and just not talked about anything. Maybe he would show up in her room later and she would still have to. Suddenly her stomach didn't feel hungry anymore. She was in knots just thinking about everything. Perhaps it was going to be harder than she thought to just ignore things and go back to normal.

When Jace hung up the phone, he was silent. Alec had come into the room at the tail end of the conversation and had his training gear on. "So, are you staying here or going?"

Jace turned around with the oddest expression on his face. He was so confused by the conversation he had just had with Clary. She sounded fine but quickly made it clear that she was staying at her house tonight and he wasn't invited over. He had gotten over his jealousy towards Simon but he felt it rearing its ugly head back up after he found out Simon had been included in family night and Jace hadn't. Was she avoiding him? That's what it felt like. And she was passing up training tonight. That wasn't like her at all. She usually fled her house after hours of lessons with Jocelyn. "I'm staying here," he replied curtly to Alec.

Alec just lifted his eyebrows at him. "So, is Clary coming over here then? I could set up the training room for her and we could do some group training."

"It looks like it will just be the three of us tonight. Clary is taking the night off." Jace didn't wait for a response from Alec. He walked out of the room and headed to the training room alone.

Alec and Izzy arrived shortly after and they trained together for quite some time. It felt strange since they had been including Clary in their training sessions lately. They had all been so focused on getting her trained they hadn't spent much training time with just the three of them. During a break, Alec and Isabelle sat down and drank some water and talked nonchalantly. Jace decided he would practice some knife throwing. He walked over to the target and started letting them fly. He felt the frustration come to the surface and begin to boil over. He let one knife after another go. They were hitting the target but he was blinded to that. He just kept throwing until there were no more knives on the table next to him. He stepped back and took a long breath.

"Jace, is everything okay," Jace turned around to see Alec and Izzy looking at him quizzically.

"Yeah, it's fine." He was breathing hard as he responded to Alec.

Alec jumped to his feet and started walking over towards Jace. "Are you sure?"

"Alec, I already told you it was fine. Stop asking." He knew his response sounded a bit harsh but he couldn't help it.

Alec started chuckling lightly. "Um, you just threw about thirty knives into that board and we are supposed to be on break. You killed the target. Look at it," he pointed behind Jace as he finished his sentence.

When Jace turned around, he understood what Alec had been talking about. The body target was mutilated. It had knives sticking out of every major kill point imaginable. The wood was splintered and it didn't look like it could be salvaged. And Alec was right; there were about thirty knives sticking out of the target. Jace had thrown every one of them. He just looked down and shook his head. He tried to sound casual as he said, "huh, good to know I'm good for something."

Alec looked at Izzy as Jace started to leave the training room. Izzy just shrugged her shoulders as they both watched him leave the room.

When the movie was over and Clary went to her room, she was surprised to find no Jace. She was disappointed but didn't expect anything else since she told him not to come over. She missed him that much she knew. She couldn't figure out how to reconcile seeing him with not wanting to talk about what happened. She also didn't think she could stand to be away from him for another day, nor did she think he would buy any more excuses. They were never apart for too long. Her phone buzzed and she looked at the screen expectantly.

Her heart fell a bit as she saw it was Izzy texting her and not Jace. "Clary, I think you need to talk to Jace."

Clary felt panicked all of a sudden. Had something happened? "Why, what's wrong? Did something happen? Is he okay?" She waited anxiously for her response.

"Are you kidding me? You know what's wrong and you won't talk to ANYONE about it. Including me, I might add."

Oh, so nothing bad had happened. She exhaled with relief. She wasn't even aware that she had been holding her breath. "We'll talk about it eventually. Don't worry about it."

"How are you going to talk about it if you continue to hide from him? Don't think I don't know what you're doing, Fray." Isabelle sounded a bit angry.

"I'm not hiding, Izzy. We had family night."

"Since when do you chose family night over spending time with Jace? And couldn't he have come over too? Come on Clary, you aren't fooling anyone."

She didn't know how to respond. If Izzy could tell she was avoiding it, Jace surely knew things were still not okay. "Is Jace okay?"

"I suppose he's fine. He did mutilate a body target with knives during training tonight and didn't seem to realize what he had done. He was taking his frustrations out on it. Then he left. I haven't talked to him since."

This was bad. Clary had only been thinking of her own embarrassment this whole time and hadn't stopped to think how Jace was feeling or what he was even thinking. What had he asked her before they left the Institute? It came rushing back to her at once. He had asked her what he had done wrong. So, he was blaming himself for what happened when he wasn't at fault at all. Clary realized that she had created a monster of a situation. Now, she felt even worse. She thought she was going to be sick.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow. Goodnight." That was her only reply as she shut her phone off and tried to go to bed. She knew it was going to be hard going to sleep because she couldn't stop thinking about everything. What had she done? How selfish had she been to not even think about how Jace might be feeling. She felt awful. Instead of sending him a text, or calling him, she just turned to face the wall. She deserved not to sleep and to suffer with her thoughts. The worst part was, she was making Jace suffer as well.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all of those reading and following this little story of mine. I think it will end here though. You can use your imaginations on the rest ;) Review and keep reading. There are lots of good things out there!**

Jace didn't sleep much. He kept replaying what had happened between him and Clary and their subsequent conversation yesterday. Well, it really wasn't a conversation; she had simply told him that she wanted to spend the day and evening with her family and Simon instead of seeing him. Jace was confused; that much he was sure. He had no idea where things went wrong and why Clary was reacting the way she was. He was also pretty sure he was feeling hurt about the whole situation. He and Clary were nearly adults and he thought they were adult enough to talk about anything openly in their relationship and it confused him when this issue seemed to be different. One thing was clear – she was avoiding the subject at all cost. She had never chosen hanging out with her family over spending time with him. The more he thought about the situation, the angrier he got.

Clary didn't get much sleep either. She kept thinking about what she had done to Jace by not telling him why she was so upset. She hoped that things could get resolved sooner, rather than later. She knew it was her fault that it had taken them so long to resolve the issue but she was ready to talk about it now. The hard part though, was that she had no idea how to even start the conversation. "So, you know how the other night when we were getting all hot and bothered and then I ran? Yeah, well, oops. My bad." Nothing she ran through in her head sounded right. She kept herself up half the night just trying to figure out what to say. She decided that she would call him in the morning and see what he was going to be doing during the day. She was sure there would be a time they could meet up and get things figured out.

When Clary finally opened her eyes, she realized that she must have fallen asleep after all. She also realized that she had slept half the day away; her clock read 12:00. Crap. She hadn't contacted Jace yet. She was hoping that he wasn't thinking that she was avoiding him again. She picked up her phone – no messages from him yet today. That was probably a bad sign. She touched his name in her contact list and listened for him to pick up.

When Jace felt his phone vibrating and saw it was Clary, relief and anger swelled up inside him. It was nearly the afternoon and he hadn't heard from her yet. He was fully expecting her to give more excuses about not coming around today. He decided that he wasn't going to beg to talk to her about this. She was the one that ran, the one that clearly had such an issue so she could be the one to bring it up.

"Hello."

"Hey. Sorry it's so late. I just woke up," Clary tried to make her voice sound casual.

"Oh okay." Jace didn't really know what else to say.

Oh crap, he seemed upset. This is what she feared would happen. "What are you doing today?" She tried to sound as hopeful as she could manage.

"Alec and I are with Magnus right now attending to some crazy business about rearranging the Institute and later Maryse wants me and Alec to go check some suspicious Downworlder business out near the far side of town."

"I can come with you." She really hoped he would say yes.

"Actually, it's not that big of an issue; it's mainly just investigative stuff. Izzy is even staying home. So, don't worry about it." He sounded so short with her. He clearly didn't want her tagging along.

"Okay, do you want me to come over and wait for you at the Institute?"

She could nearly hear him shrugging his shoulders. "You can do whatever you want. I have no idea when we will be done so it could be pretty late."

"Oh, okay. Maybe I'll see you later then." She couldn't hide the disappointment in her voice.

"Sure. Bye." With that, he hung up. For a second, Jace thought "good, now you know what it feels like." Then he started to feel really bad about talking to her like that. He tried to put it out of his mind so he could concentrate on Magnus and Alec.

Clary was pretty surprised that the conversation had gone the way it had. She didn't know what she was expecting, though the cold shoulder wasn't it. She knew that she had treated him similarly yesterday, but today she was ready to face her issues. She just stared at the phone for a few minutes before she sighed and went to take a shower.

After showering and getting ready, she went to find her mom. They worked on a few lessons, but Clary clearly wasn't into them today. She couldn't concentrate and kept thinking about Jace.

"Clary, we are done." Clary looked stunned at her mother's outburst.

"Really? We have never stopped lessons early," she was confused.

"Clary, you can't concentrate and you are so mopey. It's clear you want to be somewhere else. We aren't getting anywhere like this. So, go. Go to the Institute and we will finish this later."

Clary didn't want to tell her mother that Jace might not even be there because she didn't want her mom to ask questions. She gathered up her stuff and left.

When she got there, sure enough, Jace and Alec had already left. Isabelle was there though. The girls worked on training some but Clary missed Jace desperately. Training with Izzy was different. She wasn't as gentle and wanted Clary to do some crazy moves that she probably wasn't ready for. Jace was a great trainer because he knew what she was capable of but still pushed her to work harder and do more. There were also the make out sessions around the workouts that seemed to help. Clary did a good job of not appearing too distracted though. She had nothing else to do and she did like training, even if it was with Isabelle.

When they were done training, it was pretty late. They were starving so they headed to Taki's for a quick dinner. Along the way Isabelle tried to get Clary to talk to her.

"So, I'm assuming you talked to Jace today?"

"Yeah, I called him when I got up and he said he would be with Alec all day." Clary couldn't help but sound dejected as she responded.

"But you didn't talk, talk to him, right?"

"Izzy, everything will be straightened out when we see each other next. I'm so stupid for dragging it out this long."

"Well, I would say I told you so, but I won't."

"Didn't you just actually say it?"

"No, not at all," Izzy bumped into Clary's shoulder playfully as they continued to walk down the street.

Thankfully, conversation after that didn't reflect around Jace. Izzy was talking about Simon, a lot. She wanted to know everything that Clary had ever given him for presents as his birthday was coming up and she didn't know what to get him. Clary told her a few things but told her to be creative. She could only imagine what Izzy could come up with.

When they got back to the Institute, they were beat. Jace and Alec still hadn't returned. Clary decided she would wait there for him to get back instead of going back to her house. She showered and changed into some lounge clothes. When he still wasn't back, she crawled into his bed to wait for him. She fell asleep before long.

Jace had had a long day. He and Alec had finally gotten to the investigative work they were supposed to do for Maryse. He usually liked doing such things with Alec, but today he was too distracted. Alec wasn't helping the situation. He kept trying to give advice even though he had no idea what was wrong because Jace wouldn't tell him. Finally they were done.

Jace decided that he would go by Clary's house and see if she were there before he headed to the Institute. She wasn't in her room and he could tell by how quiet the house was that she wasn't home. So, he left and made it to the Institute in no time.

When he got there, everything was pretty quiet. It was pretty late. He stopped by Izzy's room on the way but Clary wasn't there. He was hoping that she was in his room, otherwise he would have to track her down somewhere else. To his relief, she was curled up in his bed, facing away from the door. He tried to be as quiet as he could. She had left the bathroom light on so he didn't need to turn on any more light. He kicked out of his boots and took his jacket off. He climbed into bed beside her and wrapped his arms around her. Her back was pressed up against him. He didn't think he could get close enough. He leaned into her neck and inhaled her scent. She stirred some and woke up.

"I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm sorry," he whispered.

"No, I'm glad you did." She squeezed his arms closer to her body and sighed. "I've missed you," she admitted.

Jace inhaled a deep breath of her scent again before responding. "By the angel, I've missed you, too."

"Jace I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I've been awful."

"Clary, what happened?" He sounded so confused. He felt her raise her shoulders in response to his question. He was afraid that she wouldn't say anything more. He had to get some answers. Not wanting their conversation to stop, he dove right in with the hardest question he could think of. "Clary, do you want more of a physical relationship?"

Nothing. She was saying nothing and just laying still in his arms.

Clary wanted to bury her head under the covers before she answered that question. Suddenly, something inside of her snapped. This was Jace. Her Jace. She had spent the last two days in agony because she wouldn't talk to him. She was done being childish about this. Still holding onto his arms, she turned around so she was facing him. This conversation definitely would have been easier if she didn't have to look at him but she had made too many mistakes lately to ruin this moment.

She placed one hand on his chest and the other on his cheek as she looked at him and said, "yes, I do."

Jace exhaled a huge sigh of relief when he heard her response. He hadn't even realized he had been holding his breath. He was surprised to be looking at her face. He assumed she would stay facing away from him since she hadn't wanted to talk about any of this for the past two days. "Then why did you run the other day? What happened?"

Again, Clary shrugged her shoulders. Jace leaned down so his lips were right beside her ear. "Clary, talk to me. Please. I can't stand this anymore," he pleaded with her.

She threw all caution to the wind and just let everything poor out of her mouth. "Jace I don't know how to do any of that. I have no experience and had no idea what I was doing the other night. I thought I knew, but when I got there, I just freaked out. I was so embarrassed that I had freaked out that I just left. I thought it would be easier for you since you wouldn't have to see me. I figured you would be upset with me and I just couldn't handle any of it. I'm so sorry." She didn't even know if she was making sense.

"Clary, you didn't make me upset. I was just confused. And don't ever apologize for stopping. If you don't want to do anything, or if you want to stop, we'll stop. Always. Don't forget that."

"It's just, you have all this experience and I don't. I was worried that I wouldn't live up to your expectations and you just sat there doing nothing. I didn't know if you even wanted me to continue."

"Clary, I don't have as much experience as you might think. I don't know how to do this either…"

Before he could finish, she cut him off. "You don't? Oh, but I thought…" she sounded shocked.

"No, I mean I've done this before but not when it counted. Nothing before has ever been like this, with you. I don't have any expectations of what this or what you will be like. Clary, I love you and I want to be with you. That's all I know."

"But you didn't react the other night. You just sat there." She could feel her face blush slightly.

"Um, I'm pretty sure I reacted, Clary," he chuckled softly.

"Oh, right," she could feel herself in a full blush now.

As he chuckled at her, he leaned down and kissed her softly on her lips. "Clary, I didn't stop you or do anything because I had no idea what you were doing. It kind of came out of the blue. I wasn't expecting you to do anything like that. So, when you did, I just froze. I'm sorry I gave you the impression that I didn't want it."

"So what you're saying is that all of this would have been resolved if we would have only talked about it then? Funny how that works," she was smiling at the absurdity of the situation.

"Yeah, funny." He stroked her cheeks with his fingers and looked into her eyes. "I know this isn't the easiest thing to talk about, but it's just us. We're in this together, right? We can talk about anything."

"I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have waited. It was torture."

He chuckled as he agreed. "Clary, we don't have to be in a rush about this. I want to be with you but not if we aren't ready for it. I love you and that's enough for now."

"I love you, Jace." She leaned in and kissed him, then put her head on his chest as he adjusted so his back was against the bed. She could feel herself drifting off to sleep as he ran his hand up and down her back. Finally, she would have a good night of sleep.


End file.
